Broken Crown
by RosesandEdgars
Summary: Achievement Hunter. It takes one night for Ray's entire life to crumble down. And he doesn't know if he can pick it back up - or if anyone will notice his hidden cries for help. Eventual Ray/Ryan, Geoff/Griffon, Michael/Lindsay. Protective!Ryan. Protective!Geoff. Rape & self-harm warning. R&R Connection.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Broken Crown

**Fandom:** Achievement Hunter/Rooster Teeth

**Pairings:** Eventual Ray Narvaez Jr/Ryan Haywood, Michael Jones/Lindsay Tuggey, Geoff Ramsey/Griffon Ramsey.

**Rated:** M

**Trigger Warnings:** Serious non-con rape, self-harm.

**Prompt:** Pretty dark prompt, don't have to do it if you dont want to: Ray is attacked and raped one night and he decides to pretend that nothing is wrong, but then he falls deeper into this depression and starts to cut himself and stuff, isolating himself from the rest of the world. And then one of the AH guys (preferably Ryan or Geoff, but i dont care) notices and tries to help him? thanks 3 (also i dont mind ships, but R/R is my fav so)

**A/N: **This is one of the darkest things I've ever written.

Their chanting was getting louder.

Ray cringed, holding up the shot of tequila he was paid twenty dollars to drink. Gavin, Barbara and the others gave a loud yell, and then they chanted his name even _louder_. The entire bar seemed to be surrounding the small table where he, Gavin and Barbara sat. He made a mental apology to the people who were confused why so many people were cheering on one guy to drink some alcohol. And then he made a mental note to punch Gavin for screaming that he was going to drink a shot.

"Come on, Ray!" Michael shouted, standing on a table with Lindsay.

"Do it for Ashe-acho-achieve-mi-ent Hunter!" Geoff added, smiling sheepishly. Ryan gave Ray a small smile and a nod of encouragement, the other man's arm around his shoulders for support.

Ray gave him an uneasy smile back. "Well, YOLO," he said. Everyone who was chanting went silent and froze, and then the glass's contents were running down his throat.

He wondered, for a split-second, why he didn't drink alcohol – it wasn't _that _bad.

Then his throat started burning. Ray gave a few coughs, leaning forward on his chair. He felt his face burning up and sweat rolled down the back of his neck. He paused, swallowing.

With a cocky grin, he wiped his mouth and slammed the empty glass on the table. "Pay up."

The crowd roared with cheer, and Gavin handed Ray a twenty dollar note. Ray shoved it in his pocket, grinning. His throat still itched, and he was sure that it would catch fire, but other than that he felt fine. Proud, even.

Everyone quickly dispersed and went back to their own tables, and the bar was once again filled with the chatter of the Rooster Teeth crew. Ray opted to sit at the bar, where he could order as many glasses of water and Red Bull he would need to wash down the taste of liquor. Gavin had said, "Alright Ray!" and Barbara added her own joke. Ray rolled his eyes and walked away.

He sat down at a stool near the edge of the bar and ordered his drink. When the bartender placed the glass in front of him, he immediately gulped it down.

"Not to your liking, I take it?"

Ray jumped and spat out the water he hadn't swallowed. Ryan sat himself next to Ray, his eyebrows raised and his lips curled into that crooked smirk that he always wore.

"It tastes like shit," Ray said, sticking his tongue out in disgust. "I don't get how you can drink it so much."

"I don't. Designated driver." Ryan held up his car keys. "Someone needs to look after Gavin and Geoff."

They both glanced over their shoulders to see what Plan G was doing. Gavin and Geoff were both shaking a bottle, aiming at each other. They both twisted the lid off at the same time and almost instantly they were drenched in beer. Gavin gave a loud squawk and jumped on top of Geoff, laughing.

"Good luck with that," Ray said when they turned back.

Ryan shrugged. "It's not _that _bad, being their driver…"

Ray raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, it sucks. And I hope they have a horrible headache tomorrow." Ryan narrowed his eyes. "Anyway, I'm gonna drag those two home. Have a nice night, Ray. Unless you want a lift?"

Ray shook his head. "See you at work tomorrow," he replied, watching as the older man walk over to the two drunks and picking both of them up. Ray chuckled.

He sat and stared at the group for what seemed like minutes, laughing at the company's antics and occasionally chatting with the people who approached him, and those minutes quickly turned to hours. He was eventually the last in the bar (save for the barkeep himself), and then he was asked to leave by the bartender.

Ray stood outside of the bar, shivering slightly. He rubbed his upper arms, regretting his decision not to go with Ryan. If he had known that outside was going to be so cold, he would've gone.

"This is why I never go outside," he muttered, starting the walk back to his apartment. It was quiet in the part of town he was in. Small alleyways and shitty buildings were what made it.

He passed into an alleyway that he knew was a shortcut. He'd used it many times before, usually when it was daytime though – and when he wasn't crept the fuck out by it.

He stopped shivering altogether and began shaking – every little sound made him jump, from the rats running in the sewers to the car horns that sometimes blared a road nearby. He swallowed, and reminded himself that he was just being a wimp, and there was nothing to be afraid of.

And then someone grabbed the back of his shirt and roughly shoved him against a wall.

Ray gave a loud yelp and widened his eyes in panic. The attacker, whoever it was, pinned Ray to the floor. Ray struggled to get away from him, his heart racing. He clawed and whacked at the man's face, but his efforts stopped when he was kicked in the stomach. He groaned.

The attacker paused for a moment, and Ray almost gave a sigh of relief – almost.

And then he felt his pants being ripped off.

"Wait – no, please – _please_!"

He screamed and pleaded, tears streaming down his cheeks. He trashed and turned under the man's grasp, but nothing could prepare him for what happened next. The man forcefully flipped him onto his knees and unzipped his own pants.

Ray gasped in shock as he felt the man enter him. With no mercy, he began thrusting. Ray cried out in pain with every thrust; he felt like he was being torn in two. Blood dripped from the scraps that formed on Ray's hands and knees.

The man gave one final push, and climaxed inside Ray. He pulled out, turning Ray over again. He placed the tip of his cock at Ray's lips. Ray stared in horror at the semen and blood dripping from it.

"Swallow it," the man growled. Ray gulped, his heart pounding.

"I said," the man took out a knife from his pocket and aimed it at Ray, "swallow it."

Ray's lips trembled, and he opened his mouth to let the man's cock in. The man grabbed Ray's hair and shoved him back and forth. Ray widened his eyes in shock, the tears leaking out once again. And once again, the man climaxed inside Ray and pulled away. Ray stared at the knife pointed at him.

He swallowed.

The attacker gave a gleeful smile. "See, that wasn't so hard. Was it?"

Ray shook his head quickly. His throat burned more than when he drank the tequila earlier. He wanted to throw up so badly.

The man zipped up his pants and picked up Ray's wallet, taking out all the money he had. He threw the wallet on the ground, and kneeled down so he was eye to eye with Ray.

Ray tried to look at his attacker's eyes, but they were shadowed by his hood. All he could see was his mouth – the lips that were curled into a sinister sneer.

"I had fun, _slut_," the man taunted. "Maybe I'll see you again."

The Puerto Rican's jaw trembled. The man stood up, gave Ray a couple more kicks before he ran off.

All was silent for a moment. Ray's head was spinning, his backside and knees hurt and there was a bile rising in his throat. It took a car horn for Ray to snap back to reality and throw up in the alley.

He let out gasps of breath he didn't know he'd been holding in. He stared at his hands in horror, the images of what had happened flashing in his mind.

_Slut._

He stood up weakly, his knees shaking and his shirt wet with sweat, vomit and whatever else was on it. He pulled his pants up quickly with trembling hands.

Without a moment's hesitation, he bolted for his apartment.

Wash him off.

Ray stood in the shower, rubbing his body with soap, body wash, anything he had to get rid of the man. There were bruises forming around his thighs, his stomach and his arms that made him wince whenever he moved. The worst part of it all was what he couldn't see.

The man's violation all over him. He stood in a shower, with water washing down the blood and semen he carried with him, but it wouldn't wash down the man's stench.

Or Ray's memory.

He walked out of the shower after a good hour, and wrapped a towel around his waist. He put on his glasses. He passed his mirror and halted in shock.

The man that was in the mirror... couldn't possibly have been him. The man in the mirror had blood-shot eyes, a sunken face, bruises everywhere...

The man in the mirror was not him.

Ray turned away from the mirror, the burning sensation in his throat returning. The next thing he knew, the towel dropped from his legs and he was over the toilet bowel throwing up the contents of his dinner. He wiped his mouth and slumped to the bathroom floor in defeat.

He curled up into a protective ball and let his tears do the rest.

He didn't know when the night turned to day, and he didn't know how long he was awake, lying in the middle of the floor and sobbing his eyes out. Eventually he was brought back to his senses by the sound of a text message.

He widened his eyes and bolted up, groaning in pain when his body protested. He pulled his pants up and threw on a shirt. He limped out of his bathroom and into his kitchen, where his phone was in the charger.

**YOU HAVE 13 NEW MESSAGES**

**MOST RECENT FROM: goeff**

**goeff:** where are you?

**OTHER MESSAGES:**

**used2bemibestfriend:( :** ray wtf we're waiting for u

**notdan:** come on Ray you mingy prick i've got a bloody hangover and im here

**beardo:** we can't start the let's play without you

Ray was about to send a message to Geoff to tell him that he felt sick and was going to take the day off when another message popped up on his screen.

**FROM: ryebread**

**ryebread:** Are you okay? I went back last night to give you a lift but you weren't there, did you walk home? Are you sick? I'm bombarding you with questions, I know, but I'm worried.

Ray crumpled to the floor. '_I'm not okay' _was what he wanted to say. _'I've been violated'_. _'I'm so fucking weak I couldn't stop it'_.

Instead, he opted to text Geoff a simple 'sick. throwing up. staying home today, sorry for not texting back. overslept' and hit send. After a moment's pause, he typed another message that read "guess i blazed it too hard last night". He didn't want Geoff or the others to think anything strange was happening - as far as Ray was concerned, the Achievement Hunters had nothing to do with his problems.

A reply from Geoff came a moment later, and then another message from Ryan.

'Ok.'

'Man, you really don't like alcohol do you?'

Ray gave an attempt at a weak smile but it came out as a grimace. He turned his phone off and sat it back on the table, then headed for the safety of his bed.

The bed was a blessing to his aching body, and Ray found comfort in it immediately. And then he heard it. The man's voice.

_I had fun, slut._

Ray whimpered and hid under the safety of the blanket.


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, here's the next chapter. Enjoy it, you assholes.**

* * *

He woke up at six in the evening, sweat rolling down his neck and his skin pale. He panted for breath, glancing around with wide eyes.

It took him a second to remember that he was in the safety of his own apartment, and that no one could hurt him. Ray gave a loud sigh, using a trembling hand to wipe at the sweat down his neck. He gazed down his sheets; his sweat had made them wet and sticky. He stood up, flinching as his feet made contact with the ground, and slowly limped towards his living room.

He grabbed his phone on the kitchen bench and made his way over to his couch. Opening his message box, he shifted into his seat.

**1 NEW MESSAGE**

**FROM: goeff**

**goeff: **will you be alright for work tomorrow?

Ray paused. He could say no, that he was still feeling ill – but the longer he put off going, the harder it will be to pretend nothing was wrong when he _did _finally see them.

**TO: goeff**

**brownman: **I'll be there.

He waited silently for his boss to reply. The short 'ok' came a second later. Ray closed his phone and dropped it on the carpet, swallowing. Had he just made a terrible mistake, going to work just two days after what happened?

He glanced at his arms. The bruises were dark and purple, as were the bruises on his thighs and stomach, but those could be covered easily. After all, it was winter, and no one would think it would be strange of him to cover up as much skin as he could. The only problems he would have were the grazes on his hands and his flinching every time he moved.

The grazes he could make some stupid lie about. 'I fell over' seemed like the best one to go by. Everyone would believe him anyway, and they could just go back to their normal business of playing video games and being idiots – well, most of them. He would have to act normal whenever _his _face flashed before his eyes.

Ray's breath hitched and he stiffened in his seat. The man's voice had returned. It taunted Ray with the same words as always: I had fun, slut.

He curled up into a protective ball, his knees to his chest and his arms wrapped around his legs. His nails dug into his arms as he whimpered. On top of how much it hurt to move anyway and the fact that he was scratching at bruised skin, everything was painful.

"He's not here," he choked, digging even harder into his skin. "I'm fine."

The voice paused. Ray lifted his head gently.

It was gone.

He tried to give a sigh of relief, but all that escaped from his lips was a sob.

Maybe agreeing to go to work was a bad idea after all.

* * *

He had woken up early the next morning after another restless sleep, his body once again aching.

And by morning, he means five-thirty AM.

He had walked slowly out of bed, resisting the urge to limp, and made his way to the kitchen, his stomach growling. He hadn't eaten a meal since that night. He had a snack for his dinner the night before, but he seemed to have lost his appetite for everything.

He cooked some pancakes, his favourite breakfast, and poured a glass of water. He swallowed the water in one go and sat down to eat his pancakes topped with maple syrup.

It took not even a bite for Ray to feel sick. He ran to the bathroom, his head over the toilet. Thankfully nothing came out. He threw his pancakes out after that.

It may have been only half past six, but Ray was already out of his apartment, wearing his jeans and AH jacket – the only clothes he had that covered most of skin. He was relieved that it was going to be a cold week ahead. It gave him the perfect excuse to cover up.

He lived close to the company, so the quick walk to his work took only five minutes. It was still five minutes more than he would've liked to have been out in the open.

The lights inside the building were still on, probably from Monty and the RWBY crew pulling all-nighters again. Ray stood in front of the door, breathing heavily. His heart pounded in his chest.

"Hey, Ray!"

Ray jolted, his eyes wide. He turned around and saw Miles approaching him, clutching a clipboard in his hand.

"H-hey, Miles," Ray said, giving the other man a fake smile. Miles grinned back.

"You're here early. You feel bad about skipping out yesterday?" he asked.

"Y-yeah," Ray answered.

They both entered inside after Miles complained about how cold it was. Ray quickly escaped to the Achievement Hunter office, rejecting Miles's offer to have breakfast with everyone else. It took all of his effort not to look frightened around one guy, what would happen when he was surrounded by heaps of people?

Instead, he chose to sit down at his desk, powering on his xbox.

Playing video games cleared his mind a little bit. He still jumped whenever there was a sudden loud noise created by the RWBY team, or when someone entered the room to offer him some food. He rejected every person, saying that he still felt sick and the last thing he needed was food. It wasn't a complete lie.

He loaded up one of the games he needed to record for an Achievement Guide, leaning back on his chair and setting up his capture. It was a difficult achievement, one that would take him a while to get anyway. He had the whole morning to spend in the office anyway.

His fingers hurt when he pressed down on the buttons, and he would wince whenever the palm of his hands were pushed tighter into the controller. Every shift he made in his seat ached his backside and thighs. He took a few breathes at these times, pausing his game.

_Nothing is wrong._

In through the nose, out through the mouth. Don't think about anything. No one can hurt you here.

_Nothing is wrong._

He's fine. There is nothing wrong with him. He's healthier than ever.

He swallowed nervously and started his game again. He stopped flinching at every movement and sound. He still felt the terror and pain, yes, but he could conceal it now. It made his job a hell of a lot easier.

The light slipped into the office as soon as he had finally gotten the Achievement. He had attempted to give himself a small victory, but that took too much effort. Instead, he opened the recording to the editing software and began cutting it down to size.

The first Achievement Hunter to walk in the office was Michael Jones, carrying a bag of games in one hand and a Red Bull in the other. Michael greeted Ray, slouching down on his seat. Ray nodded back.

"Jesus, it's cold," Michael complained, pulling down on his beanie.

"Yeah," Ray agreed, his voice hoarse.

Michael spun around on his seat, grinning wildly. "Versus today. You ready?"

Ray shrugged. Michael snorted.

"That's the spirit Ray. Keep up the enthusiasm, you'll need it in the recording," he joked. Ray cracked a small smile that didn't meet his eyes. Michael's face suddenly fell.

"Are you alright?" he asked, his brows furrowed in concern. Ray widened his eyes.

"I-I'm fine," he said. "I was just feeling sick yesterday, but I'm fine. I swear."

Michael narrowed his eyes suspiciously at him, his brow raised up in disbelief. "Are you sure-"

"Yes," Ray quickly cut him off. "Now, can I go back to editing this video?" He felt surprised at the venom that slipped off his tongue. But, he just needed Michael to leave him alone. It took all of his energy not to show his pain when just sitting normally, and talking to someone without _crying for help _because just over 24 hours ago there had been a man on top of him and holding a knife to his throat was hard enough as it was.

Ray sighed and turned back to his PC, ignoring the other man. Michael remained silent, opening up his own video to edit. The tension in the air made Ray uncomfortable, and he swallowed a few times. He was just glad that Michael wasn't harassing him.

Throughout the rest of the morning the rest of the group entered in the room one by one, yawning and rubbing their eyes. Michael greeted them all, while Ray focused on his work. The only words he spoke the entire morning was when he snapped "I'm fine." to Ryan after the older man had approached him and asked if he was okay. Gavin's response to that was to make an offhand remark about how he was full of the vinegar.

They didn't actually film anything until after lunch (which Ray skipped). He had stayed in his corner of the room, recording video after video. When lunch had finished the other five plus Lindsay and Kdin returned to the room, Kdin and Jack filming. Ray sighed and stood up, ignoring the pain in his body.

"Go!" Geoff started. Gavin and Michael cheered loudly behind him. "Episode – I don't fucking know!"

"That's the one!"

"So last week Ray beat Lindsay at some PC game-"

"Not my fault, I was using Ryan's PC," Lindsay protested.

"-And it's now Ryan's turn to take down the Brownman!" Geoff finished. Ray widened his eyes quickly.

_Shit, I'm playing today._

He quickly tried to return to normal and act like nothing was wrong. He looked at Ryan, who had begun talking about how Ray was brilliant at games and how he picked the perfect strategy to beat him. He heard every word, but it somehow didn't translate into his brain. It wasn't until he heard the word Kinect that he really paid attention.

"What?" he asked. Geoff let out a roar of laughter.

"I said, we're playing Just Dance with the Kinect," Ryan repeated in an irritated tone. Ray gulped. Normal video games he could have handled, but movement – he couldn't deal with that, not with the aching pain everywhere in his body.

Instead of protesting that he couldn't, he nodded quickly. Everyone cheered loudly, and then Ryan and Ray went to their positions in front of the television.

He didn't know what song Ryan had picked, all he knew was that every time he was supposed to move in time with the character on the screen he wanted to scream in agony. Every small movement caused pain.

He realised near the end of the song that there was something much worse that was going to happen.

Ryan's character on the screen had begun to grab Ray's character from behind and dance in rhythm to the fast beat. Ray took a sharp intake of breath as he felt Ryan's large arms wrap around his waist. He paused, his eyes wide with terror. Ryan had continued to do the dance on the screen, gaining all the points that Ray wasn't getting. But none of that mattered. All that mattered was –

_Slut._

His breaths became heavier and quicker. His heart pounded harder with every second.

_Swallow it._

He turned his head to look at Ryan, to remind himself that it wasn't the man in his nightmares. Ryan had his attention on the screen. The rest of the group was making some comments about the dancing, words that Ray couldn't hear over the sound of the voice of his head.

Ryan had said something and glanced down to look at Ray. Ray still stared at the older man. His eyes remained wide with fear and shock. Ryan blinked back in confusion.

"Are you alright?" he whispered.

"Please – stop," Ray mouthed. Ryan let go of Ray, stepping back a bit just as the song ended. Ray let out a breath he didn't know he had kept in. The rest of the video went by in a blur; Ryan had won, obviously, and then they said who was going to be challenging him next week. Ray had tried to smile and act natural during the rest of the video, but it all felt too fake. Not to mention the worried glances Ryan slipped Ray every chance he got.

When it came to the time that Ray was allowed home, he walked out the building in a hurry, never once glancing behind him.

* * *

**So now Ryan is suspicious, and Michael too. I wonder what will happen next. No seriously, I have like as much knowledge as to what will happen as you do. Yay for no plan!**


	3. Chapter 3

**You know what? I have never had the motivation to write something more than this. Usually I would be at a severe writer's block by now, but… yeah….**

**Here's the next chapter.**

* * *

The next couple of weeks were like hell to Ray. He avoided Michael and Ryan as much as he possibly could, since they were the ones who were suspicious about him. The rest of the company either didn't see him as he kept to his desk all day, or they didn't notice anything wrong about him. The voice in his head told him that they didn't care enough to notice.

Ray thought the nightmares would stop after a few nights, but they stayed with him every night, plaguing his dreams. He hadn't gotten a good night's sleep in weeks. The worst part, though, was the fact that the voice that had been saying _slut _in his head every so often had learnt to talk different words, words to harm Ray.

When no one noticed that Ray was hurting, the voice had finally appeared again, taunting that nobody could care about him. Ray had argued with it at first, screaming at it to shut up in the middle of the night. Gradually he had accepted and agreed with the voice, no matter what the subject was.

The next time it came was when they were filming the next Minecraft episode. Ray had mined straight down into lava, and Geoff had laughed and said that he should kill himself. "He's right, you know," the voice added.

It quickly became just another part of his life; a voice in his head reminding him of how _weak _he was, and how _nobody could give a shit if he just died_.

He agreed with the voice.

The bruises on his arms and thighs were almost completely faded, thankfully. He had gotten sick of being afraid that someone would notice the bruises, so not being worried about that was a blessing. He stopped feeling intense pain every time he moved, too. Well, it was either that or he just got _used _to it.

He would love to say he had been getting better, and that things were returning to normal. However, when he got home and took one glance at his mirror, he would retch over his sink. He just had to look at his eyes and he would remember that things would never get better for him.

* * *

It was a Friday evening. Michael and Gavin had been filming a new Let's Play together, cackling and yelling at their screen. Ray stayed in his corner, playing golf – it was a peaceful game, and often relaxed him. Ryan was at his couch, playing Titanfall.

After Team Nice Dynamite finished filming, Michael went outside to talk to Lindsay, leaving Gavin to take the recording. Ray was glad that they were gone; he didn't know if he could stomach another second of Michael yelling because of something stupid Gavin had done.

And then Gavin approached Ray.

"Hey, Ray…" Gavin started slowly. Ray paused his game, setting his controller down. He knew Gavin was going to ask if he was okay. He was ready to snap that he was fine back.

"Yeah?"

"We're going to hit the bevs tonight at the place we went to the other day. You gonna come?"

Oh. _Oh. _He didn't expect Gavin to ask that. He considered what Gavin was offering, but stiffened in seat when he remembered what happened last time he went out.

"No thanks," he answered, bringing his attention back to his screen. "I'll be alright."

Gavin's face fell. "Oh, okay then." His feature brightened as he turn to Ryan, a wide grin plastered across his face. "Hey, Ryan!"

"Nah," Ryan said quickly, his eyes glued to his TV. Gavin dropped his shoulders and gave a heavy sigh.

"Well, I'll see your mugs tomorrow then," he said, walking out with his bag over his shoulder.

Ray cursed under his breath. He hated Gavin's constant ability to irritate him, and the fact that he was so loud and full of energy even when everyone else wasn't, but at least with Gavin there he didn't have to be in the same room as Ryan.

He had hardly spared Ryan a glance since their versus. The older man had been cautious around Ray, attempting to talk to him when he was given the chance, but Ray had always managed to avoid him one way or another.

He started his game up again. If he were to walk out, it would look too suspicious. If he were to stay he would have to deal with Ryan's pestering.

"Ray," Ryan called.

Ray paused the game again, swearing silently. He should've known that Ryan would try to talk to him while he was battling inside his own head.

"Yeah?" He turned around, looking at anything but Ryan. He couldn't meet the other man's gaze.

"It's raining," Ryan said, gesturing outside. Ray glanced.

"I guess it is."

"Do you want a lift?" Ryan asked.

What? God no, he didn't want a lift. Spending a car ride with Ryan – the same man that _knew _something was wrong with Ray – would be a nightmare.

No, no, god no.

"Uh, sure," Ray answered. He mentally slapped himself. _How fucking stupid can you get?_

Ryan lit up brightly. "Great, I was gonna go right now. You ready?"

"Y-yeah." He regretted his decision not to walk out sooner. He wanted to get out of the situation he was in. He didn't want to spend an awkward car ride, even if it was only a few minutes, with Ryan. He willed himself to say no a hundred times, but when he stopped to look up, he realised that somehow his feet had moved by themselves to just outside Ryan's car. He blinked a few times, his hair dripping with the droplets of rain pouring down.

"Are you gonna come in?" Ryan asked, opening the door on his side. He squinted to see through the rain.

Ray nodded, opening the door and seating himself inside. Ryan drove out of the car park and into the street, humming quietly. Ray fidgeted and looked away awkwardly. He couldn't stand to look at the man, not after the versus they had.

They drove for a good five minutes in silence. Ray wondered for a while when he was going to escape and go back to the safety of his apartment, when he realised that they had passed the turn a while ago and they were heading to a fast food chain.

"R-Ryan," he started, gazing at the other man for the first time the entire car trip.

"Hm?" Ryan glanced at Ray, his brows raised. "What is it?"

"You missed the turn."

The older man blinked a couple of times, his mouth opening in a small gape. "Oh, I didn't - sorry, this is kind of a tradition, I forgot about the turn," he said. "Every Friday I come here, I'm so used to taking this route."

"It's alright," Ray mumbled as Ryan went to park his car. "You can get your food, I'll wait here."

Ryan gave a small smile. "Thanks, Ray. You want anything?"

Ray shook his head. His appetite still hadn't returned, and quite frankly the thought of eating was enough to almost make him throw up.

"Alright then, I'll be back in a minute." Ryan stepped out the car with his wallet, and slowly closed the door. Ray stared as the older man entered the building, then slowly shifting his gaze towards the dashboard. He raised his knees to his chest and rested his head on them.

_Looks like your friend left you behind._

Ray let out a sharp gasp, twitching his head up. He didn't expect him to come out so suddenly.

_Poor Ray. When will someone notice him?_

Ray gritted his teeth and clenched his jaw. If he ignored it, maybe it would leave him alone.

_Maybe I'll have some fun with my slut tonight._

With a sharp intake of breath, Ray opened the door, slammed it shut, and bolted straight for the inside. He skidded to a halt, sliding across the smooth tiling. He leaned forward, his arms failing. A loud shriek erupted from him, and he felt his entire body clumsily fall to the floor. He cringed, awaiting the floor to hit his face.

It never came.

Ray looked up, and was met with a pair of concerned blue eyes. Ray sighed, using Ryan's support to stand up.

"Are you alright?" Ryan asked. Ray nodded quickly, glancing away.

"I – I guess I am a little hungry," he lied. "I just wanted to tell you to get – what does this place serve?"

Ryan's worried look faded, and the man chuckled softly. "It's a pizza place. You really know how to make an entrance."

Ray forced a laugh, scratching the back of his neck. The voice had disappeared, thankfully.

"I'll just have some of yours." And by some he meant none.

Ryan's face lit up. "Great! You wanna sit down and eat? It'll get cold in the car."

Ray shrugged. Not five minutes later, the pair were sitting down at a table, with a fresh box of pizza in front of them. Ryan eagerly opened the box, revealing a cheesy pizza. Ray sniffed in the aroma, cheese and garlic and all. His stomach growled and he drooled slightly.

He watched Ryan eat piece after piece, his own mouth watering.

Without thinking, he reached out and snatched a large piece of pizza. His mind told him to stop, that he was going to throw up, but his stomach told him that he hadn't had a proper meal in days.

He ate the piece in three bites, relishing in the flavour. He wiped away at his mouth when he was done.

"Hungry?"

Ray nodded.

"I thought you would be," Ryan's voice suddenly took a serious turn. "Ray, you haven't eaten lunch for days. You've been overworking. I'm – we're worried about you."

Ray sank in his seat. Of course, the conversation would shift to this. He wished that the ground would swallow him up and eat him whole.

"I'm _fine_," Ray protested. "I just want to get everything out of the way."

Ryan raised a brow. "You don't do things as soon as you get them, you procrastinate until the day before. Why?"

"Because I feel like it," Ray snapped, looking away.

Ryan let out a heavy sigh. "Just, one more thing…"

Ray glanced back at him.

"What happened in that versus?"

He knew which one Ryan was referring to. He knew that he would have to face the question sooner or later. He didn't know the answer to the question. Well, he did, but he didn't know the lie.

Better to just avoid it all together.

"Take me home, please."

Ryan furrowed his brows, but never the less took Ray to his car and returned Ray to his apartment in a silent car ride.

Ray thanked Ryan and slammed the door closed, locking it and retreating to his bed.

* * *

Work the next day was awkward, to say the least. Ryan had stopped trying to get answers out of him, but Ray still felt the man's eyes bore into his head. It made him a little bit uneasy.

When it came to lunch, Ray had decided to leave his desk in order to steal some food from the fridge. He reached it quickly, and thankfully no one was there. Well, Geoff was there, but his boss didn't care what Ray did.

_He doesn't care about you._

Ray searched for snack in the fridge while Geoff rummaged the top shelf for a glass. Suddenly Geoff let out a loud, "Shit on my dick!" and there was a loud crash on the ground. Ray closed the fridge and glanced under him; broken shards of glass were scattered all around him. Ray swallowed nervously.

"Shit, I'm sorry Ray," Geoff swore. "Don't move, I'll get someone to help clean this shit up. If anyone asks, Gavin did it."

Ray chuckled as Geoff ran to get someone.

But Geoff didn't really need to fetch someone, he could escape on his own. He bent down slowly and picked up a shard, but was startled when there was another loud crash from upstairs, and then Geoff's broken voice squealing, "Not my fault!"

Ray shook his head. His boss was a great guy. A little stupid at times, but still great.

Ray paused when he felt something wet and sticky drip down his hands. He glanced down at his hands, and widened his eyes in horror. His palm was bloody and the shard of glass was tinted with red. The glass must've cut him while he was surprised.

It didn't hurt. That was strange. When he had been hurt before, he felt pain. He still felt pain, but there was more of a rush to it. He squeezed the glass into his palm, making an even bigger cut. He dropped the glass to the floor, staring at his hand in fascination.

He heard Geoff rush into the room once again with Burnie trailing behind. He heard both of them swear loudly and Geoff running over to him when Burnie wiped away the glass with a broom.

The last thing he remembered before he blacked out was Geoff wrapping a cloth tightly around his palm, and Burnie holding up his body.

* * *

**Alright, question time: how many of you would love an R&R Connection Let's Play, and what game should they play? I personally want them to play a horror game like Amnesia, with Ray at the mouse and Ryan at the keyboard.**


	4. Chapter 4

**So, for those of you who follow my ao3 account, you will know that this chapter was posted ages ago on there. That's because all of my Achievement Hunter fanfiction will mostly be kept over there, since a) it's easier to work with and b) Fanfiction hasn't classified AH as a character yet. I will still post on this site, but if you want to find out what happens in the next chapter you can look on my archive account under the same name.**

**That being said, I never expected to get as many reviews as I did! I thought I was going to have like one review over eight chapters.**

* * *

There were voices.

Ray tried opening his heavy lids, rolling his head to one side. He felt a tight hand on his palm and someone else shaking his shoulders.

"Ray, wake up!"

He recognized the voice. It was Geoff, no doubt about it. The crack in his voice, the worried tone… it was definitely Geoff.

"Holy shit, he's bleeding."

"Get the first aid, Barbara!"

"There's no first aid here!"

"Why the fuck is there no first aid? Ray's fucking bleeding over here!"

Ray gave out a soft moan and, with some effort, opened his eyes, blinking. The first thing he saw was Geoff, tears in his eyes, yelling at someone else. He frowned.

"…Geoff?" he managed to say. Geoff gasped and looked down at Ray. The older man had been holding Ray and tying a cloth around his palm.

"Ray! What the fuck were you thinking?" Geoff asked.

Ray frowned again, sitting up with the help of Geoff. He rubbed his eyes with his free hand, his mind flashing back to when he picked up the glass shard. He remembered it cutting into him, a rush, and then nothing. He froze. Had the pain felt good? There was certainly a rush that he got from it, a high of sorts, but…

"Jesus, Ray, you had us worried there," Michael piped up.

"Sorry," Ray muttered, his mind still on the rush. He stood up weakly and began walking back towards the office, tugging away his hand from Geoff. Geoff cursed out loud and followed Ray, stopping the man by holding the back of his hoodie.

"That needs stitches. You're coming with me to the hospital."

Ray mumbled a swear under his breath. He turned around, staring at his boss. The older man eyed Ray with a look of worry and annoyance.

"Alright," Ray said. "Make this quick."

The two made their way out of the building and to Geoff's car after saying their goodbyes. Ray took his place next to Geoff on shotgun, holding the cloth tightly.

The hospital was a good twenty minutes away, so they had plenty of time in the car. Ray shifted uncomfortably in his seat, remembering what happened the last time he went in a car with a gent. He didn't want a repeat of what happened with Ryan. Make conversation. Don't let him suspect anything.

His mind flashed back to when he saw Geoff on the verge of crying because he had a little scratch on his palm. He narrowed his brows in confused.

"Hey, Geoff?"

"Hm?" Geoff turned around a corner.

"Why were you crying?"

"I wasn't crying." The answer was given so quickly that Ray wasn't sure if Geoff had heard the whole question.

"You were. I saw," Ray argued.

Geoff gave a sigh, running a hand through his hair. "I'm over-protective. I can't handle seeing anyone I love get hurt. Griffon, Millie, Gavin, Michael, Ryan… everyone. You count too, Ray. There, happy?"

Ray opened his mouth and closed it. So Geoff just cared. That's all there was to it.

_Oh come on, who would care about you._

God, not again. Ray sunk into his seat, unconsciously pressing into his injured palm with his thumb. He winced and pulled away when his blood seeped through the cloth again.

"Fuck, Ray!" Geoff swore, glancing at Ray's hand with worry. "Don't be an idiot!"

"Sorry," Ray mumbled, turning his head to stare out the window.

* * *

He had been to a hospital once before. He had broken his leg after he fell down stairs. He was young at the time, but he still hated the hospital. The pearly white walls, the white doctors, the white beds… everything was just too _white _and _clean_.

Now, when he sat on a chair with his newly stitched palm, he still hated it. It was the same as any other hospital; clean and white. It disturbed him more than it should have.

Geoff was chatting with the person at the desk, probably about Ray himself. Ray sighed and stared down at his shoes, focusing on the bloodstain drops that covered the white materiel.

"Please! Please, help him!"

His neck shot up so suddenly he heard it crack. He rubbed the back of his head, wincing.

"Please, oh god – _please_."

He looked down the hallway. A large woman was holding an unconscious man in her arms, with

nurses

surrounding her. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, and it took Ray a moment to realise what was wrong.

The man was bleeding. A lot. A stab wound, it looked like. His clothes were torn and bruises covered his thighs and arms. With a sharp intake of breath, Ray ran over to the two.

The nurses carried the man across the hallway and out of sight. The woman gave a loud sob and crumpled to the floor. Ray bent down next to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"What happened?" he asked quietly. The woman gasped and looked up with bloodshot eyes.

"M-my boyfriend was – he was – I – " she cried out, panting.

"Raped?" Ray finished. The word felt painful, coming out of his mouth. It left a bitter aftertaste.

The woman gave a loud sob and fell into Ray's arms. Ray wrapped his arms around her.

"He came back – and there was _so much blood_," she hiccupped. "He's – he's not going to make it, is he?"

Ray was silent. He was no doctor, but even he knew that no one could survive losing as much blood as the man looked like he had. After a minute of silence, Ray muttered, "I'm sorry."

He had been saying those words a lot recently.

He didn't know how long they stayed like that, her sobbing and him comforting, but eventually Geoff did come and said to Ray that they had to go. Ray said his goodbyes to her and wished her the best, both in her partner's survival and in catching the rapist.

"He did say w-who it was," she said to him shakily. "It was a man with a hoodie – and a knife – and he said that he wish my boyfriend was like his – his _slut_."

Ray froze and widened his eyes in horror.

His heart beat faster and faster in his chest, until it felt like it was about to come out of his ribcage. His breath came in ragged gasps, and his skin went white as a sheet.

It couldn't be the same guy, could it?

Geoff tugged on Ray's sleeve. Ray blinked and forced himself to calm down, turning around to walk to Geoff's car. It was a usual routine from there on; put his seat belt on, wait in the car for a while in silence.

"That wasn't like you," Geoff spoke up. Ray jumped.

"What?"

"You. With that lady. Remember?"

Ray nodded slowly. "Yeah. She needed help."

Geoff gave him a small smile. "But I guess it's natural for you. Ray the good guy."

"That joke's reserved for Ryan," Ray snapped angrily. His face broke into a grin.

Geoff let out a loud laugh. "Right, right." He suddenly frowned. "I just hope that guy makes it out alright. What kind of sick bastard would do something like that do another person?"

Ray shrugged.

_I wonder if he'll care if the same thing happened to you._

"It's horrible," he agreed.

They spent a good five minutes talking about anything, from games to the people in the office. Ray would love to say he felt relaxed, but he couldn't shake off the voice inside his head. Ever since the woman said who had raped her boyfriend the voice had been more active than usual.

* * *

Geoff dropped Ray out at the front of the apartment building a little after four o'clock. Ray thanked Geoff and hurried upstairs, locking the door once again when he was inside the safety of his apartment.

The voice had stayed with him all day, reminding him of how worthless he was and how much of a _slut _he was.

The most menacing the voice had been was when he was in the shower, cleaning himself off. He picked up a razor blade, ready to shave his stubble, when he paused, staring at the sharp corners of the razor. The memory of the morning had come rushing.

_Didn't it feel good before?_

Not good, Ray protested. There was just a rush. It just made him… better, somehow. But it wasn't good.

_You can feel it again._

As if in a trance, Ray bought the blade to his arm, and sliced lightly through his skin. It didn't hurt, just like before. He placed the blade next to his soap and gazed at the blood that dripping from his arm and down the drain, mixing with the water on the way down. The voice was right, it felt good. The rush came at him, and he let out a heavy breath he didn't know he had kept in.

He didn't know if he had made a terrible mistake or not, but he knew, as he gazed down, that there was no turning back now.

* * *

**So, little request/question time. This fandom has so many talented artists - could I possibly request a cover image for this story from one of you? I'm not a fan of the current one.**


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